/noun/ awareness of the needs and emotions of others.[1]
Yesterday, a friend of mine texted me “Happy Boxing Day!” As you may know, Boxing Day is celebrated by the U.K. and its territories. Historically on this day, poor and working class people received boxed gifts.[2] Nowadays, the holiday is typically a day of getting good shopping deals of course.[3]
Christmastime in general is identified as the season of giving. We, like the folks who set up the original Boxing Day, look for opportunities to give. We have ministries at MCCGSL where we are intentional about giving to those of us in need throughout the year, including now. And we have an opportunity during this season to tune our awareness to our collective needs even more.
I present the aforementioned definition of sensitivity, because I believe this word draws us into making our hearts more attune to the hearts of others. Yes, we can feed, clothe, house a loved one. We should. And there are matters of the heart that require tending.
The “heartwork" is first for ourselves and then for others. It is to deepen self-compassion and then offer compassion to others. Self-compassion, the starting point of empathy, helps us to become more aware, more sensitive to my, your, our collective needs beyond what is readily visible. Several Sundays ago, Pastor Lauren invited us to practice compassion through meditation–beginning with self, then for easy people, not so easy people, and finally the world. Isn’t that the work of Christ?
I share below another contemplative piece in its entirety by Howard Thurman. In this piece, he uses the distinction between pity and compassion to discuss how God enables us to grow our sensitivity regarding matters of the heart healthily.
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25. Not Pity, but Compassion[4]
God is at work enlarging the boundaries of my heart.
GOD is making room in my heart for compassion. There is already a vast abundance of room for pity. It is often easy to be overcome with self-pity, that sticky substance that ruins everything it touches. My list of excuses is a long list and even as I say it, I know that under closest scrutiny they disappear, one by one. There is pity in me—pity for others. But there is something in it that cannot be trusted; it is mixed with pride, arrogance, cunning. I see this only when I expose myself to the eyes of God in the quiet time. It is now that I see what my pity really is and the sources from which it springs.
God is making room in my heart for compassion: the awareness that where my life begins is where your life begins; the awareness that the sensitiveness to your needs cannot be separated from the sensitiveness to my needs; the awareness that the joys of my heart are never mine alone—nor are my sorrows. I struggle against the work of God in my heart; I want to be let alone. I want my boundaries to remain fixed, that I may be at rest. But even now, as I turn to [God] in the quietness, [God’s] work in me is ever the same.
God is at work enlarging the boundaries of my heart.
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May we allow God to expand our hearts.
[1] “Definition of Sensitivity,” Merriam-Webster, accessed December 26, 2024, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sensitivity.
[2] “Boxing Day,” Britannica: History & Society, December 26, 2024, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Boxing-Day.
[3] “Boxing Day.”
[4] Howard Thurman, “Not Pity, but Compassion,” in Meditations of The Heart, Kindle (Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 2014), 49.