Practicing Gratitude
The practice of gratitude has always been an important one in my life, especially in times when gratitude can feel so far out of reach. My sister and I picked up our gratitude practice again since the passing of our father. We text each other every day, simple things that we noticed in our lives that we want to give thanks for. This is a practice to intentionally help us look at the goodness that is in each of our lives. To help us notice the small or big kindnesses that we see in our lives. To name the love, the light, and grace that is all around.
This practice is not one to negate or override the feelings of grief or frustration that come with loss, especially around the holidays, but to simply help ground us in the reality that love and goodness are all around too. Gratitude doesn't have to, nor should it, eclipse the deep pains or fears we feel.
So as we practice gratitude and name things we are thankful for with loved ones in the coming days, let our gratitude and our grief come together. Let us know that gratitude and grief can co-exist; that they are two sides of the same coin; that they are friends who know each other all too well.
No matter how this holiday season finds you, may you embrace the warming practice of gratitude by noting the small kindnesses in your life; may these kindnesses bring you and yours peace and comfort.
As you reflect, we invite you to embrace the type of kindness Danusha Laméris writes about below:
Small Kindnesses by Danusha Laméris
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us Honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”
What is a small kindness someone has done for you that sticks with you? When did someone enter into your life at just the right moment? This week, we invite you to share it with someone. Think expansively. Reflect deeply. Either way, share it with someone and know that when gratitude is shared, that kindness can radiate to all whom it touches.
And lastly, if you are looking for a blessing for your Thanksgiving table, consider this by John O'Donohue:
For Equilibrium, a Blessing
From: To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.
As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity be lightened by grace.
Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.
As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.
As silence smiles on the other side of what’s said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.
As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.
May your prayer of listening deepen enough
To hear in the depths the laughter of God.
Blessings,
Pastor Eli